What is love?

Let's discuss this question....What is love? And more importantly, how do you know that you're in love? Even more importantly, how does one decifer between love and like? Now you ask me, what brings this subject up? Let me tell you the story (some details will be held back on the grounds that it might incriminate me)!

****I am bolding all future question/answer segments as I come upon the answer!****

Many of you know about my crush on Brad Pratt. Some say that together, we make sense even though we've never officially or unofficially "been together". We've talked on a very superficial level and that was cool. I learned that he was a cool guy who was funny and smart. He is definitely different from the typical guys that I usually go for. My type has always been the "light skinned, curly haired" type of guys. My aunt Denise used to always tease me about that. Pratt doesn't fit that criteria, but there is something there about him. What??? I don't know. If I were to end up with him, he would definitely challenge me to strive for excellence. I would always have to be on top of my game in order to keep up with him.

I have been delivered from my longtime "crush", Maurice Walker. He was the typical "light skinned, curly haired" guy that I go for. And the typical "bad boy". I realized (with the help of Tanisha) that relationship could possibly work but would I be happy? Probably not because of the vast differences between us. It would take lots of prayer and fasting and interceding to get him to be the man of God that I would need. Then, there's his fifty million kids just chillin' around the city of Chicago. And the intellectual difference between us. And the question of his ability to support me and our family. Then, there's the great big problem: He doesn't like me! So that relationship is out!

I do have issues regarding men that I am trying to get over. My belief is that most men are users and chauvinistic. They can not handle a strong opinionated woman. And I try to belittle men most times. Why? Because I don't want them to think that they are superior to me. Could I have gotten that attitude from attending an all-girl school? It is my experience that if you allow a man in your life, they will take advantage, control and make you feel less than them. What I am now trying to do is come into a relationship (friendship is the only one I am ready for) strong but not dominate. Now it could be the type of guys I choose, couldn't it? That is the basis of a good study: what kind of personality takes advantage of women and are chauvinistic? And how can we pick them out?

Talking to a guy on BP, he stated that in order to get a girl "sprung", one has to go beyond the norm. He has to stay one step ahead of the woman and constantly surprise and exceed her expectations of men. Needless to say, it works 'cause he proved that. We talked on the phone for a good minute and even fell asleep. Now for anyone who knows me (even ME!!!), that seems so corny but it just did something to me. Listening is the key to any woman's heart....or better yet, communication is. So fellas, if you wanna have your woman head over heels in love with you, communicate. It ain't gotta be no intellectual conversation, just talk. This guy and I talked about old skool songs. Just come in the door trying to be our friends, not our lovers or fathers or parole officers or man. Me personally, I can't stand a man who feels as though he has the right to question my whereabouts. After a point, I will feel as though I want to share my whereabouts with him, but it's not a right...it's a privilege!

So back to the beginning, does anyone know what love is? I sure don't 'cause I have never been in love. Is it conventional or spontaneous? Everyone says what it is not, but no one says what it is. Why is that? I am determined to defined what it is....

Another question for you all to discuss is: What is your opinion on picking a guy to be your back-up? And what age would you dip into your back-up pool? A back-up guy someone you choose to marry if you are not married by a certain time in your life. I have two back-up guys but have not chosen the age where I will choose them. Until next time, see ya!