This is a continuation of the previous blog entitled "Thanksgiving Epiphany". Only this is my list....yes, my list of what I am looking for in a spouse. I realized that many saved women only look for a few things like "is he saved? does he have a job?" not knowing that there are so many other aspects in a successful relationship. And here is what I want and need:
1. He has to be analytical so we can talk our problems out. Many women state that after marriage, communication ceases. My imagination can not endure something like that, so we have got to talk to out completely so we can both forgive AND forget. I believe that if you have completely forgiven, then you can forget and NEVER EVER bring that situation up again.
2. He must be my friend first. How can you marry and establish a relationship with someone who you don't even know? I know how quickly I can get spooked, so he has to already be in the door as a friend.
3. He must be intelligent and open-minded. I don't want to have conversations with someone who will never admit that he is wrong or doesn't know what he is talking about. I want to learn from my husband and I want him to learn from me...and acknowledge that he has learned from me.
4. He must be even tempered. I can not tolerate another anger-filled man!!! If he is upset, I want him to talk it out instead of acting out and possibly striking me. Domestic abuse is something I will NEVER tolerate!
5. He must be saved AND anointed AND called into the ministry. Now understand what I mean by 'called into the ministry'. There are some people who are satisfied with being just a pew saint. I was raised in the church working and I expect my husband not only to understand that but also take part in it. I want us to seek God daily together and have a hunger to know Him more together.
6. He must be REAL! I'm not looking down on men who have led sheltered lives, but because I have experienced so much, I need a man who has been out there and know how it's like. I've never been a product of the streets, but I have a great knowledge of what's going on out there. I've done things and been places where I had to learn things the hard way, therefore I need someone who understands and is patient. Basically, I need a reformed thug. I can relate to people like that more because they don't ask questions like, "Why can't drug addicts just stop?" He would understand the strong call to the streets and work to prevent as many people from answering that call through his life and ministry.
7. He must be hardworking and ambitious. I prefer someone with a college education because those type of men tend to be open-minded about issues and ambitious. I don't want him to just have a job but a career. A job can fade away but if he is trained in a specific field, he can make his own way. Now there is a difference between a hustler and an ambitious man. I don't want him always starting up "new" businesses and looking for the easy payday, but put some dedication and work into a project to see it prosper and work for him.
8. He must have a sense of humor. I love to laugh and I need to have someone who loves to not only laugh but have fun.
9. He needs to be tall and strong. When describing tall, 5'10 - up is an accurate description. And when describing strong, I mean a 'big' guy. I don't like small skinny men, I prefer 'football' sized men.
10. He must know how to dress and have great taste. I know that I don't always dress-up, but I do know how to dress up. The same should be with him.
11. He must have good teeth. I don't want a man who has baby teeth, brown/yellow teeth, gingivitis, bad breath, crooked teeth, rotten teeth, or missing teeth. Did I mention gold teeth??? I want just regular white adult teeth.
12. He must be affectionate. Lord knows that I didn't receive that too much growing up and I don't want my children to lack affection or love from both of their parents.
13. I don't mind a man with A child but with several children? I can't do it because my children would not be anything new to him. Now, if he were to have two children of the same sex, then that would be fine. And the child(ren)' s mother must not be a hinderance to my relationship with my husband AND his child(ren).
14. I would like for him to enjoy movies - of all kinds. I enjoy art, meaning films and plays and documentaries. I would like to share that with him, but it is not a requirement.
15. I prefer for him to be Black but I can also marry Hispanics, mixed-race with Blackor Mexicans. I could marry a White man but he has to be down-to-earth and mad cool. I don't want to deal with ethnic misunderstandings and problems. I want to cook whatever my momma and grandmomma cooked and say whatever I would say to my friends. I don't want the agrevation of dealing with that.
16. He must be a motivator...'cause I need that from time to time. When I am slacking, I need him to push me to be all I can be.
17. He must be sensitive and in touch with his feelings so I can cry on his shoulder and he can cry on mine.
That is all I can think of right now, but I am sure there is more.
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