We are not saved by works

At this present moment, I feel frustration! I just came from work and that might contribute to these feelings. I have to realize that I am warring in the spirit all day. I used to take it for granted that I was just doing a job. Another factor to my frustration could be that I am PMS'ing a little. Then the fact that I listen to people for 8 hours/day and have no one listen to me. But that is what God is for. Right now, I have Fred blasting to lead me in the presence of God. Another factor is definitely that I talked to Joyce. I was excited to talk to her and was pleasantly surprised that she called me. She told me about her "slip" and how people don't talk to her anymore. As we talked, she cussed several times. She didn't see anything wrong that she did in her situations. And she talked like she knew all of the answers and didn't really want any input into the situations. It just saddened me to see where I used to be in regards to salvation. I would say holiness, but that's not it. I remember that I used to think that salvation and my relationship with Jesus was something that I would think out and strategize. In a strange way, I had that notion that I was saved by my works. I think I understand that scripture now. There are some people who believe that if they are a "good person", they are guaranteed to enter into heaven. Then there are others who believe that living lives of "holiness" will guarantee them into heaven. Yes holiness is a part of salvation, but God's grace is so much more. We can never live holy enough to earn our ways into heaven. As a parent (a.k.a. father), we do many things that disappoint Him but because he loves us in a way we can never understand, he forgives us and gives us chance after chance. And to think that I never got that concept is so saddening to me. I used to think that if I didn't listen to secular music and not cuss and not have sex that I had a relationship with God and was guaranteed to get into heaven. I have grasped a concept of God's grace and mercy in my relationship with Him. Just talking to Joyce, I see how much I have matured spiritually even though I thought that I was spiritually retarded. And don't get me wrong...I am not looking down at her at all! I just pray that she sees the light. Another thing that brought me to see some of the light was something that Tonex said last night on the Stellar Awards. He said that he wouldn't have been where he is now if he hadn't allowed God to work on his integrity. Our character is so important in our relationship with God. My prayer has been for a while now that my walk and relationship with God comes naturally. You know how some people say that we have to challenge ourselves and deny ourselves things in the name of Christianity. For example, I have always wanted a tongue ring since I was little. I mentioned that fact to Jay and he told me that I had to challange myself to not want it. The reason? 'Cause the sight of a tongue ring brings about certain representation about oneself. He didn't tell me that, I came to that realization to myself. But the answer to just "challenge myself" didn't wash with me. That is another form of repression. And as a psychology major, I know the dangers of repression. Repression doesn't solve anything in the long run. It comes out eventually in other arenas and sometimes it is a branch on a root of something deeper. It's better to deal and sort through things with the help of Jesus as they come. And I realized that the tongue ring thing was something deeper. So now I know that when I deal with the deeper issue that my reasons for wanting a tongue ring will dissolve...or whatever. Besides, there are the fake ones that will satisfy my desire and I don't have a permanent piercing. I can't even committ to earrings let alone a tongue ring. Haha! Another thing that I have noticed is that the enemy is a worthy advocate against us as people but not against us with the Holy Spirit. He is definitely slick! It's amazing that if you are not on your toes when it comes to the enemy, you will find yourself doing things you never thought you would do. To just look at my mindset just the other day is crazy! I wasn't praying everyday and worshipping every morning like I used to and thought that I was cool. Well, I feel better now that I got that off of my chest.