Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I finished my papers!!! I am so proud of myself. Special shout-out to Katisha who dropped by AND called me to tell me that I was crazy. Could I be? I think that I say things that people won't or can't say. And even still, I only type it...I don't say it. But as I stated before, this is my therapy. This helps me get things off my chest (no pun intended lol) and gives me clarity. Today was a good day. I had a small minor bump in the road when Kesha told me I had a comment on my blog. A comment? I asked her what it said and she told me. From the way she read it, it sounded like a blow-off. Y'all know that I can't handle blow-offs. So my afternoon was kinda shot until I just logged in and read it. It wasn't so much a blow-off but a gentle let-down lol. Basically, we don't want this to get complicated..anymore complicated than what it already is. Its sad that he doesn't know how to be friends with females. He's the first guy I've ever met that can't be friends with the opposite sex. Anyways, I just gotta keep truckin'. And he did mention that if he hadn't been caught then we would still be doing what we were doing. So him being caught was a bittersweet situation. I'm glad that I found out about his extracurricular activities and his lies and deceit. I'm glad that I found out the truth about how he felt and who he is. But I'm sad that it ended with no closure whatsoever. And its kinda hard to get that over the phone, ya know? That's why I opted to see him when I got to Philly but if he thinks that he couldn't do it or better yet that he can't do it, then so be it. I can be in that city and not let him know that I'm there. I've hidden things from him before (well just one thing) and I can do it again. I would have loved to one more night but spoiled Carmen can't always get what she wants...boo! Or can she? lol....j/k

Now about other friends...this has been brewing for some time now but I've ignored it. I don't know if its just because I'm hormonal or what but Marquetta is getting on my last nerves. Its almost to the point where I can't stand her. She comes off real high and mighty and judgmental even though she says that she doesn't. Let me start from the beginning. In January, we were supposed to start these monthly worship services. I asked her to do the flier and she told me no. Then she said that she would work on it. Needless to say, she didn't do them. STRIKE ONE! Then a few weeks later, she said that she was getting off the praise team because she couldn't continue to follow me. So I stepped down and told her to take it over. She did it with both feet on the floor running. While that might seem like a good idea but she changed completely. Now change is good and I'm all for change. But we were supposed to be friends and she just abandoned me. I was going thru a hard time and she wasn't there. She had all of this spiritual advice...I know the Word and I know what I'm SUPPOSED to do but its different when you're in the situation. So basically, I shut down. Actually I shut down to all of my friends...and no one has noticed. What a group of friends I have, huh? Anyways, she started becoming real secretive with the praise team. I would ask questions and it was like pulling teeth to get the information. And did I mention that her husband ain't talking to me? I'm like whatever...am I supposed to care? That's just one less nigga grinning in my face. And that's the truth...Speaking of truth, Nate is going back to his old ways. He asked to borrow $10 today. I'm so tired of niggas asking for money as well. Do I have money signs on my face? I'm grouchy and its all Alfonse's fault lol. I think I was hoping he'd say "Yeah let's just be friends. We can keep in touch by talking once a week about whatever is going on in our lives" or "We can keep in touch via your blog. I'll leave comments and we can do that" or "Give me time". Actually I don't think I would want him to say that last one 'cause that would mean he couldn't keep a promise. Well gotta go...ttyl