Monday, July 5, 2010

This weekend has been a crazy ride. We had Earlene's funeral on Saturday morning. Candace and I cleaned up the kitchen for the repass. Ugh...that kitchen was filthy! There are glue traps in the corners and there was actually a dead mouse on the trap that had little bugs crawling on it. I was so disgusted. Candace, of course, went overboard trying to control EVERYTHING. She works my nerves with that. So by the time we were done, the funeral was packed and starting. I went in the Bishop's office and sat there with Shannon. She was tellling me about some guy who used to be gorgeous back in the day and then showed me how he looked now. It was so funny. Auntie Gwen was like, "What happened to him?" I could see how he could be good looking but gorgeous? IDK...Anyways, I decided to sing with the choir for the last song and I come out of the office. The sea of people in there...it was like a reunion. I saw Johntaye in the balcony...I saw Nicole sitting on the side...I saw Neana sitting in the front...Toya sitting in the back. And there were so many other people that I didn't get to see. So anyways, I come out and see Freddie. I flirtatiously hug him. It was not intentional...it just happened. I need to get my mind right 'cause now he wants to hook up with me. I don't know what type of hook-up he's talking about. I hope its friends hanging out kickin' it hook up. He said that he just got off tour with Macy Gray and working on some projects for some new artists. I am so proud of him. His dad just passed away and he's not crippled by that. Impressive. Mark aka Butt-n-Gut was there, too. When I came from changing Milan's diaper, both Freddie and Mark were talking. There was no way to by-pass that awkward situation. So I slid up to Freddie and held his hand and started talking to Mark. I didn't want him to get the notion that it would be alright to hit on me. I saw my ex-hubby, BJ. He did an excellent job. I was so proud of him. I can't imagine it being easy burying your mother but he was so diplomatic and grown-up. He went around and thanked everyone for coming. He did a good job. So shout out to my hubby!!! Earl didn't go to the burial but went home, changed into shorts and came back and hung out with me. He couldn't go bury his sister and I don't blame him. Toya stayed behind, too with Bryson and Genale. And Janine was circling the drain...lol. Shannon was like, "Didn't she get enough at the bowling alley that time?" I wouldn't think that is what she was doing but who knows? I didn't see the body...I want to remember Earlene how I always saw her: healthy, smiling and happy. The last time I saw her, she looked so tired and weak. It broke my heart. She couldn't hardly walk. Guess who didn't come to the funeral? Brett. Instead he had a barbeque. Ain't that dirty? You'd think that he'd come to pay his respects considering they had history. What little respect I had for him went out the window. They didn't even tell Mother Jackson. She found out that day after the funeral. She was hurt. That's ridiculous...they tell her stuff she don't need to know. After the repass, everyone went to Toni's house. I didn't go 'cause I wasn't driving. I hate not driving 'cause you're on someone else's schedule.

Lamont called me later that day. He had just got out the hospital from getting shot. Apparently someone robbed him in his garage while he was working. He said that he was coming to church that Sunday and wanted to see me. He kept tripping on the fact that I was single now and asking if he had a chance. He sounded like Jay and reminds me of Chris. He's a good man and adores me. But I can't do that to him. Therapy is helping me realize some truths about myself. I don't want to give someone a chance just because they are nice especially if I'm not attracted to them. And then I'm so flaky...I've stood Nate up so many times it ain't even funny. He's having a party this Saturday so I promised to come. He said that he really needs me there. His way of talking is hilarious to me. Why does he need me there? 'Cause he wants to see my face. However, my paranoia is thinking that he's got something planned or something. Or someone will be there that I don't wanna see. Or he's trying to prevent people from seeing each other. I know I read into things too deep lol. And right now, I'm supposed to be meeting Freddie at his house so he can work on some new music but I'm standing him up right now. Now all I gotta do is stay off FB and think of an excuse of why I didn't show up. I'll call him around 7pm. I just don't feel like being bothered today.

I think I broke my toe yesterday. It is swollen and I can't move it. So I'm going to wait a few days and see what happens. If it gets worse, then I'll go to the hospital but if its' not broken but just sprained, then that'll save me money and time. I saw "Daybreakers" online Saturday night. It was a good movie but not scary enough. Also, I got my grades back from my class. I don't understand the grade but it looks like I got an "A". Someone said this teacher is a strict grader so I don't really know. But I'm happy. My next class starts on Wednesday. I've been so used to going to class on Tuesday. Well, I'm tired so XOXO