Songs and Reminisce

Its 4:45 am and I am still up. I really need to get my sleep patterns back now that school is starting back. I was up downloading music for a while. Then I watched 4 episodes of Angel. Then I started playing spades and listening to music. I was just doing stuff to pass the time. Then I heard a song that took me baaaaaaack. Remember Nate Dogg's "Never Leave Me Alone"? I remember I was fresh outta high school and working at JC Penny at River Oaks. Carlos and I went to H2O and I bought that blue perfume. Gosh I loved that scent. Then I went to this record store at the other end of the mall and bought a whole bunch of cassettes. I bought this single and played it back-to-back nonstop. I remember my parents and Candace hated this song. I don't know why I loved this song so much. Even now, I can listen to it over and over again. And my favorite line in the song is "Its true that the dirt I did from an old G to a snotty-nosed kid..." Its crazy.

Then earlier I heard Whitney Houston's "All the Man I Need" and I had a reminisce session. As the song started, I remember hanging out at night on 74th and Halsted on Tuesday nights playing around with Maurice, Marty, Shannon, Felicia, Khadijah....I don't know if anyone else was there. I remember feeling the wind blow the tall grass across my legs in that empty lot. We were usually playing "Booty Respect" and I would always hide and wait for Maurice. However this song reminds me that this one time I was waiting for Marty to grab me. I was standing in the dark empty lot and this song is playing in the background and I feel the wind blowing. Hmmm....its amazing how music can remind me of the craziest stuff.

Now Womack and Womack's "Baby I'm Scared of You" is playing. This definitely reminds me of working at Time-Life. This song would play almost everyday on V103 and all the old heads would go crazy over this song. It quickly grew on me and for a long time, I was the only one of my family and friends who knew this song. I would sing this song all the time and they never knew what I was singing. Then Candace heard it and started singing it like she was hip to the song since the very beginning. The song is real talk though. How can a man pull a disappearing act and come back on us so strong and turn our loving on? I can't understand that. They can pull flowers out their sleeve and we'll be so pleased....I can't understand that lol. We, as women, need a little more.

"Supaman High" by Kells and OJ is now playing. Anything that Kelly touches turns to gold. I don't know why I love this song...the Smurfette bracelet. Once again, everyone acted like they either never heard it or didn't like it. How can you not like this song??? This is Alfonse's ringtone and my alarm ring. I remember when I first heard this song. I was coming from Blockbuster by my dad's dialysis center. When I heard it, I immediately wanted to hear it again. Then they said OJ Juiceman and I thought they were talking about Oran "Juice" Jones.

Now "Share my World" by DeBarge is playing. I remember going to River Oaks to the record store near JC Penny and buying the Best of DeBarge cassette for only $1.00. I played this tape constantly. This song grew on me 'cause it was a duet and its so pretty. He's asking the girl to share his world. How many niggas ask that question nowadays? That's game. I learned it so I could sing it at somebody's wedding. I remember listening to this song one time when I was driving down 79th Street towards the Dan Ryan expressway. Now mind you that these songs are randomly playing so it means I have a story for each story lol.

Hmmmm.....now "Do Me" by BBD is playing. Man this was my song!!! This song reminds me of Tara and Felicia and us hanging out on 75th & Halsted. One particular memory is when me, Candace and Tara was sitting in the car at the grocery store on 75th right across the street from Doc's Fish. My mom was in the store buying something and we were rocking this song as loud as we could. Then these older...way older guys came up to the car and was trying to holla at us. We were so scared. And I remember knowing this was a nasty song. It still gives a thrill to sing it. And it reminds me of the BBD concert last year. I LOVE BBD!!!! I still have the cassette...original cassette in my car. My new car is gonna have to have a cassette player.

Billy Idol's "Dancing with Myself" is now playing. I remember that I was in love with Billy Idol. His video "Cradle of Love" had me going crazy. I wanted to make out with him so bad lol. And this particular song reminds me of "Can't Buy Me Love" which is one of my favorite movies. They were at the party and dancing to this song right when Bobby came back from college and caught his girlfriend. Why do I remember Bobby's name? Idk...I don't have a story for this song.

"Can You Stand The Rain" by New Edition is now playing. This one of those songs that all you can do is sway back and forth with your lighter in your hand. I know I've talked about this song before. One memory I have is when I was living in Tulsa. I was downloading music and cleaning. This song came on just as I was walking across the living room towards the balcony. I went on the balcony...it was nighttime...and I stood there to feel the breeze on me. I sat on my balcony and just absorbed the song.

That's the end of this. Now time to get my worship on. I talked to Billy today for like 4 hours. That man can talk lol. But at the end of it all, I felt so encouraged. I realize that I have a sick problem of trying to please people...seeking approval from others. So when I wasn't receiving accolades or whatever for the praise team, I quit. But I don't need anyone to tell me that's my passion...my calling and that I'm anointed. I'm not doing it for others...I'm doing it for God. And my singing style isn't like Marquetta. Would you hear Alberta Flack trying to compete with Mary J Blige? Hell no! Two different singing styles. I'm listening to "Nobody Greater" by Vashawn Mitchell. And this song really hits home. There is nobody greater than God. Nobody can do me like God. Nobody can love me like God. Nobody can care for me like God. So how can I forget that? And not thank him? Or be grateful? Especially now when I'm dealing with so much emotional stuff. This shows me that He's here when everyone else leaves. Now like I said, all of my songs are on shuffle...they are random. Just when I'm typing this, the next song is "I Do Need You" by BBD. Ain't that the devil lol? He knows I can't turn from this song 'cause I love it so much. Anyways, I'm going to bed. Its 5:30am. XOXO