Its been a while since I've written but that's common. I think the last I wrote was that Marshawn passed away. At the funeral, it was not that crowded; however, everyone wanted to get up and give their historical stories about him. Anita sang "I won't complain" and she did a wonderful job. Gwen got up and tried in "her way" to give him props. Raymond talked about how he set his bed up right before he died. That was so sweet of Raymond. Gary preached the eulogy and he did an excellent job. I didn't know Marshawn had so many family members. When it was time to walk around and view the body, I thought that I was going to be okay....until I saw the body. I cry even now at how that disease destroyed his body. He was so thin and his face was so skeletal. I could see that dent in his forehead that Earl talked about. His mouth was hardly closed along with his eyes. There wasn't enough fat in his face to stretch his skin, I guess. I couldn't talk and I thought that I was going to fall out as I walked away. Yeah, Earlene passed away but she didn't suffer and she lived a full life. Marshawn was only 24 years old. He was raped by his uncle at the age of 8. His mother died when he was a few months old. He lived on his own when he was 17. All he wanted was love and I'm not sure that I gave him enough. I hate to think that I failed him. I just hope that he knew that we loved him when he passed away 'cause we really did. He was loved at AHOP. And after the funeral, I was in charge of setting up the repast. So when I got to the church, there was saints there already setting up. They all said that they remembered that Marshawn had served at their family members' funerals so they wanted to pay their respects in that manner. So sweet......let me stop 'cause I'm not going to be able to stop crying in a minute. Bishop Brazier passed away last week. Did you know that he battled with testicular cancer for 5 years?!? I had no idea. He was just with us on Valentine Day. I am truly going to miss him. On Sunday while getting ready for church, I heard ACOG's choir singing and I heard a familiar voice. I raced to turn on the TV and saw Bishop Brazier preaching. It was an old episode but it was so good to hear his voice. This was my pastor. Yeah, he was 89 years old and he lived a full live but he will DEFINITELY be missed! His funeral is tomorrow and Friday. Thursday's funeral is for the church family so it will definitely be crowded. And Friday's funeral will be for the VIPs like Michelle Obama, Jesse Jackson, Mayor Daley, and more. I'm going on tomorrow. Its gonna be like a large family reunion. I need to call Shannon and find out what time she's going so we can all hook up. Let me tell you about this one guy that I was talking to. His name is Jason. He's not attractive to me but he was just something to do. He came over one night and we hung out for a while outside. Then he comes back the next night and we hang out until the morning time ( O_0 ) lol. But he had yet to take me out on a proper date. So you know we had it out, right? It was a huge ugly argument and I said I was done. But like a nigga, he came back asking to hang out again. Nigga please! I told him that I was too busy and he got jealous 'cause of my schoolwork. Anyways, after a week or so of not hearing from him, here he is texting to see if I wanted to hang out with him again at his house. He said we could watch movies, play spades, listen to music and drink. That sounds like a setup if I ain't never heard of one. I learned my lesson with Chris lol. Besides, what if he got mad when I told him no sex and he put me out of his house or refused to let me leave or some crazy stuff like that? I am not putting myself in that predictament. He has a temper...a bitter temper and I'm not tempting fate. So he's on the "IGNORE CALL" list. There's this other guy that I like talking to...his name is Roberto. He's mad cool. We joke around saying that we're going to move away together to Texas to escape from the cold weather lol. He's a computer technician...nice job! Then there's this one guy that I was feeling..until I told him that I was celibate. He is a surgeon nurse...he assists in surgeries as a nurse. That sounds exciting. Then he's into real estate. He had alot going on...he's busy alot so won't demand that much time from me which I like. But when he heard that I was celibate, he kinda fell off. I was sad about that. Why must guys always want JUST sex??? Then there's Alfonse. He's back in the picture...I suppose. I don't know what we're doing. He could be using me again. He says that I'm the only one in the picture...you know, besides the wife. But I do remember when we broke up that he said to me that he wished "we would just give him time." We? Yep, me and the other women. And in June, he was adamant in telling me that his feelings for me were no different than his feelings for the other women in his life. So when he tells me that I'm the special one, should I believe him? I mean, nothing is going to change. He's never leaving his wife (not even when the kids are up in age and out the house) and he doesn't want to be with me and we'll...well, I'm never going to free to express my feelings for him. So what in the hell am I doing??? I hung out with Earl and Frank (from 35th Street) tonight. Normally, Frank rarely says anything. Now he was a talkaholic! He called Candace "Beyonce" and said that he would drink her bathwater....ugh! He was over her like white on rice. And I was puzzled by his actions because we all kinda grew up together and I've never seen him act like that. Besides, he's married. Earl and I were up to our usual routine lol. And now we're going to see Saw 3D on Sunday....so excited! I hope its a good movie. Candace saw Jermaine out somewhere last week and he said that Jay, Jr. was in college. College?!? I feel so old now! He said that he was going to come around this weekend so we can see the kids. Gosh...I remember when I was in love with that boy lol. And I remember I was going to tell him...what was I thinking?!? Charley is in town. Actually, I think he lives in Chicago now. And Ollie is in town, too. I haven't heard a peep from neither one of them. And I haven't seen Danny in a minute. Eric (from 35th Street) sent me this song called "Can I touch you on the bootay?" Its a cute little song lol. But for the record...NO, YOU CAN NOT TOUCH ME ON THE BOOTAY! LOL! And Terry White is living in California now. He IM'ed me the other night saying that he's fine. Guess who tried to get up with me a few weeks ago??? Steve Henley. He told me that my head was the bomb and wanted to experience that again. I was floored! What is he talking about? That was like 13 years ago. How does he even remember that? He said that he remembered and ever since he saw me, he thinks about it alot. Yeah right! I think Nate put him up to it to see if I'd give it up to one of them just like they did 13 years ago. I'm no idiot! I'm not falling for that again. Nate hardly even talks to me so I say F- it. I don't need him. I'm just tired of these guys who only want sex and don't want a relationship. And I know that relationships is like kryptonite to guys but I don't want just meaningless sex. It doesn't mean anything (duh! lol) and its unfulfilling. I think that's why I can't let Al go because there were feelings there, at least on my end. It made the sex all the more enjoyable....the best I ever had lol. I could write a book on all the songs that man dedicated to me...and didn't mean nan one of them. Anyways, I'm tired and got to get up in the A.M. so signing out! Smooches!
No comments:
Post a Comment