Last week was busy. My uncle passed away and we JUST now found out when the funeral is. Nicky had a brain infection but is doing good now. I'm so glad. I broke down later that day after seeing her...even days later. What really stuck out to me was my dad calling her "kiddo" and rubbing her head. She changed from parishoner to cousin. Its so sad that she's dying from a disease that she never asked for. It was given to her by her husband. Is that fair? And with that...I hear you!
I haven't heard from Alfonse all week. This is the second and LAST time. Nothing is going to change. There will always be secrets and deceit and another side to him that I know nothing about. Now I know you all are wondering what I am talking about (and some of youse are saying "I told you so" lol) especially when I said in the last blog that I trusted him. IDK....how can you say that you love someone and not even contact them for a WHOLE week? I could be dead for all he knows. And the situation could be vice-versa but I don't contact him. I couldn't go a whole week without talking to my family and friends. Especially the ones that are important to me. So I have to assume that he doesn't want to talk to me. He texted me on Tuesday and it was real cold and distant and just not nice. He said something like he was just checking in. Wow...that made me feel real good. Its just that I want something that he can't give me. I want sensuality...sexuality....romance...passion. Two years later, I don't get that at all. There's no mood music. There's no flowers. Yeah I get cards but not all of the time. I do appreciate them though. No declarations of love. He can't tell me why he supposedly loves me. It feels like he dances around that subject. It feels like he dances around lots of things. And if I ever talk to him again, I will make sure that I get the answers that I want without the dancing.
I bought some tickets to a Cubs game on a rooftop club. It is so nice. All you can eat/drink, comfortable seats, great view, and nice ambience. I am so excited!!!! It was supposed to be a gift for Alfonse but I changed my mind. What has he done for me lately? But enough of that and him lol. Nate quit his job. Can you believe that? And I don't know what skills he has to help him find a job. Its hard out here though. I'm getting sleepy though so I'm about to sign off. I wish I didn't have to go to church tomorrow but I gotta go shopping. And I got Denise's paper to write along with mine. I need to work on my procrastination problem. Oh yeah, guess who has a facebook page now??? Marty. I didn't add him only because, ya know? Okay signing out. XOXO
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