Twilight

I have logged on to tell you all that I did it!!! I had the strength to stand up to Alfonse and tell him that I was done. Well....I was stubborn. I told him last week that I was through but kept giving him opportunities to say the three magic words - I LOVE YOU or DON'T LEAVE ME or GIVE ME TIME. But all he said was that he was tired of sugarcoating the issue...my sole role was to please him and be there for him in spite of my feelings. The things he said to me were reminiscent to last June when I went to see him for his birthday. He then had the nerves to tell me that the difference is that last year, he was deliberately trying to hurt me while this time he was consciously trying to hurt me. Really?!? There's a difference in his mind. Anyways, I told him that I was done. I just hope I don't run into him this summer while I'm working in Philly or when I move there. I am just so angry at him. He was originally supposed to come to Chicago for spring break but because of some family issues, he said that he wasn't. Now looking back on it, I bet he is coming but bringing his family and didn't want to tell me or something so he is making all of this up. Then he's probably banking on warming back up to me when all the hoopla dies down. But I'm so done. The things he said to me were unforgivable. I shouldn't have forgiven him last year. I shouldn't have answered his calls this year. I should've just started the new year off clean. But I know with time, I will get stronger.

I know that I changed my blog unexpectantly and I do apologize for that. I didn't give anyone a heads up or nothing. I have been getting the emails and stuff about what happened to my blog. I just needed some time to vent my feelings without anyone reading or being afraid to be completely honest. So I am gonna change it back and see if that works. If not, I will change it again. But I will give you all notice.

I did some petitioning and graduation day is now in October!!! Yay me! So I am having a graduation /housewarming/moving party. Now I know that some of youse are asking yourselves: Why is she still moving to Philadelphia? Is it to be closer to Alfonse? And the answer is no! I am moving there because I found a job that is paying 65K with benefits. I found a nice house near Germantown. It is a fixer-upper but I'm excited about it. Its got real hardwood floors. Kevin said that he can put bamboo floors in the bedrooms and stairs where there is carpet. I do want to renovate the bathroom but not too much 'cause its already stylish. The mortgage is crazy affordable. I couldn't even believe it when I got the call last week about it. I am so excited to see it next week. I've only seen pictures that Kevin takes and sends to me. He has been so helpful in my transition. At least now I'll have some family - him and Keyda. I was hoping that Alfonse could be a part of that but it didn't work out that way. I will be taking yet another trip to Philadelphia but to make an offer on this beautiful condo. I had originally chosen the week that Alfonse is on spring break but...wait, why is he a factor again? He's not! So I will go whenever I want to. I've done it in the past and I am gonna keep up doing that! Its gonna be hard and I will miss him like crazy but I have to do what I have to do. Look at me....a few hours and I'm ready to renig yet again. I'm so pathetic lol. Anyways, enjoy!