Leaving Las Vegas

Its been a minute so you all probably don't know that I have volunteered my administrative services to the Illinois District Council Young Peoples Union. It started with me helping Tim. He needed a secretary so I volunteered. Then we all thought that Tim was going to be reelected so I took the nomination for Secretary and ran unopposed. Unfortunately the assistant president won the position and I'm stuck working for him for the next 4 years. The way dude got into office was dirty. And his behavior the last couple of months before the election was dirty. I don't respect him! I told him when he won that we needed to sit down and hash some stuff out. He, of course, ignored me so now we are here. I requested some documents from my assistant and she had the balls to tell me that she wasn't going to give them to me. Then she sent me a real nasty email and then she sent the documents and they were so incomplete. I was so pissed all day today but now...I'm cool. I now know that I've got to be the bigger bitch in this situation. And as Forrest Gump says, that's all I have to say about that.

I saw this really good movie called "Leaving Las Vegas" and it reminded me of Alfonse and I. Elisabeth Shue was this beautiful woman who was fucked up (ME) and while she could have anyone she wanted (which is 75% true for myself) she was lonely (ME). She meets Nicolas Cage (Alfonse), another fucked up person who is broken. While Alfonse is not as fucked up as Cage, there were parallels. And what really touched me was that Shue accepted Cage for who he was. She didn't want to change him because she needed him. Now while I couldn't have stood back and watched Fonse destroy his life like that, I did accept him as the married depressed, bi-polarish, cheating weedhead. And because I was/am lonely, I accepted him for who he was. He's just as fucked up as me.

Here's another crazy aspect of the movie: Shue understood him and loved him unconditionally. Now her love could've brought Cage from the brink of destroying his life, but when/if he got completely well he would go back to his family. Shue understood him...all of him but she was still a symptom of his problem. If he were sober, he wouldn't have met her or even been attracted to her. Same here with me. I'm just a symptom to his problems. If he were completely well, he wouldn't want to cheat on his wife and I wouldn't be an issue in his life. And he could probably say the same about me. If I were completely well, I wouldn't have given him a chance. I would've been attracted to him because this has been burning since 1991.

I met this guy a few months ago. His name is Roy but everyone calls him Cream. He is so nice. I really enjoyed talking to him. We had so much in common. He went to Leo same time I went to Seton. He's into psychology and I am too. He's smart, ambitious, a bad boy and funny. I get his corny jokes and he gets mines. But after a few weeks, his attention waned. I was expecting him to ask me out on a date. Every weekend I would get all dolled up in case he asked me out but he NEVER did. Then after a while he just stopped calling. What is up with that? At first I would call him but after a while I said I wouldn't call him anymore because its the job of the man to chase the woman. I do remember him saying that he was looking for a woman to chase after him but SHE AIN'T THE ONE...especially in the beginning. He saw my pic in Earl's phone and made Earl call me that same day. I was at the movies having a Carmen Evening and my phone was blowing up. I answered like "WHAT?!?" Earl told me that somebody wanted to talk to me. He put Cream on the phone and I swear like instantaneous I was like "Dude is mad cool." So now I'm at the point where I should call him one last time and tell him that I was interested in him until he pulled this missing man move. What y'all think?

Mike Ellis hit me up this week on FB talking about "What up buddy?" Then in the same breath says "I miss you." Nigga please!!!! My number ain't changed! My address ain't changed! You wanna talk to me, then call me. You wanna see me, then come by. I ignored him...just like I ignore Seawood. Now that nigga is bold as hell. He texted me one night around 1am talking about he wanna spread my legs open and eat my pussy. WHAT?!?!??! I don't even get down with him like. I don't get down with nobody like that but he deffly tried it lol. I'm not interested in Ellis! He came at Candace. SHE DON'T DO THAT! You want my sister then want her...only her! Don't come for me. Seawood even asked my sister out. Same applies to him. You want her then want only her. Even Cream tried to holla at Shannon back in the day. I know everybody has a past but my family? I just know that I might need to get drunk or even tipsy this weekend. Just no tequilla lol. That is reserved for sexy situations because the last time I had tequilla I got horny as hell. I was all over Alfonse and EVERYTHING about him was sexy, even his feet. Usually I am turned off by his feet but this time I was rubbing my legs and feet over his feet lol. It was turning me on. I even masturbated after we had sex and he passed out sleep. So I just know to steer clear of tequilla lol.

Since I said I'm going to be completely honest from here on out on this blog, let me tell you what I've been thinking. I've been thinking that one day SOON, Alfonse would stumble across this blog and this would motivate him to contact me or come back or something. Crazy huh? I follow him on Twitter to see if he's okay. I hashtag his sign-in name #frmdago hoping that he'll find it and find me on Twitter. I deleted his new number rashly and now I wish I hadn't done it. I remember some of it though...xxx-858-00??

My question of the weekend is::: Can you be away from someone for weeks, month, or even years and still love them?

GN everyone!