The definition of insanity

What's the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over again but expecting different results. How many of us operate in insanity on a daily basis? I know I do. So many aspects of my life are wrapped up in insanity. The real challenge comes in when you try to unwrap yourself from the insanity. How do you let go of defenses and comfort blankets and step out into the unknown? If I had the answer to that, I'd be rich lol. But I guess the number 1 thing is to recognize that your actions are insane. I have two papers and one presentations due the next three weeks. The fact that I haven't worked on it is insane. The fact that I'm sitting here in front of my computer looking out the window at every car that drives by is insane. The fact that I wasted two days out of my busy schedule is insane. The fact that I have no one to blame but myself is insane. Anyways....moving on from insanity.

I need to watch all of the Oscar movies....127 hours, The Kings Speech, The Fighter...I don't remember the rest of them. And then I have that movie voucher to use by the end of the month. I missed the Oscar party this weekend....boo! But c'est la vie! The interview went great! I told the guy, Mr. Hunter, that I would let him know my decision by the end of the week. I also told him that I can't start until I finish my degree. He wanted me to start like next month. That is definitely too soon. And considerating all things, I don't know what my decision will be now. Do I move? Do I inform people of my move? Blah.....Well I'm out. I'm about to go out and salvage this weekend. It kinda sucked donkey balls because it favored on the line of insanity but c'est la vie lol. I did have one semi-perfect day despite the empty promise of gifts and pampering. I know that statement is gonna harbor some hurt feelings and comments and thinking and probably an email stating that things were thought over and pondered on and those things must change because its not needed on either side. I don't know why I keep falling for it. Or maybe this time is different even though its patterned after all of the previous times. I was kinda hoping for a feeble attempt of change like waking up and being surprised at who was there. Or receiving flowers or something. I mean, it is an anniversary. And here's the kicker....he forgot! Really?!? Forgot? And even then, I didn't get a phone call or nothing. Just texts saying "I'm so sorry." I just find it terribly unbelievable that he's never done anything grandiose. His talk is grandiose but his actions fall par. And I could tell him what to do but does that make me a good person? For example, I gave him suggestions on how to get away and he had an excuse for everything. It made me think that he didn't wanna get away and was appeasing me...just like last time and the time before that and the time before that and the time before that and the time before that lol. Not to say too much, I just never know when to believe him. All I ask is for the honest truth...whether I'll like it or not...whether it'll hurt my feelings or not. I just want a leveled playing field so I can make level and completely informed choices. I don't want to be tricked into falling in love like last time. Some of my guy friends are actually jealous of him. IDK Anyways gotta go. I will do a special blog on tomorrow to coincide with the Oscars this year. Why? Cause I ain't got nothing else to do lol. Smooches XOXO

P.S. Oh wait....guess who I talked to this weekend? Alpacino. I'm not telling Earl...well, yeah I am. But he's good. I don't think he's interested anymore. I saw his pictures on FB and he was getting it in with some chick named Mz Juicy. He was dancing and all up on her. I was floored! I didn't think guys like him did that type of stuff lol. Goes to show you that everyone ain't on the mountaintop lol.